The Immortal 8

 

Duncarnock Mount (one of the eight immortals) from above Woodneuk Farm in the Ferenese Hills.

 

The eight immortals are a group of legendary immortals in Chinese mythology. Look no further than the Kelvingrove Art Gallery & Museum for a depiction of their human forms. It is said that each immortal's powers can be transferred to a vessel that can bestow life or destroy evil. Together, these eight vessels are known as the 'Covert Eight'. 

The immortals themselves are generally recognized as Taoists as in guardians of the Tao and the life-force of the universe. They are said to live on a group of five islands in the Bohai Sea, but really, they inhabit the Glasgow strath in the form of hills and crags.

It has taken me many years to find these guardians and immortals (without even looking), and thus am reluctant to reveal their true locations. Yet, reveal them I shall, for in coming to them and beseeching them with your locomotive body, you come to embody the very powers the immortals possess. Yet, you must come to them alone and without encumbrances. Even at the right location the immortal who inhabits this area will not appear if you are weighed down and 'unavailable'. This means you have to avail yourself of all nonsense and approach the immortal 'naked' (not so much unclothed but without any preconceived ideas of what form this immortal may take). It is only then that the covert immortal will reveal itself to you and share some of its secrets with you.

The eight immortals then with  combined height of less than 2000m (and an average height of 250m) are smaller than perhaps you imagined. Just think Yoda in hill form:

 

1. Dumgoyne (427m)

2. The Slacks (365m)

3.  Blairskaith (218m)

4. Duncarnock (204m)

5. Barscube Hill (195m)

6. Hill of Barnaigh (189m)

7. Dechmont (183m)

8. Barr Hill (155m)  

 

These are the 'inner eight', the immortals that protect the inner sanctum. The outer eight are another story and include such notables as Hill of Stake, Meikle Bin, Tinto, Tomtain et al. but we will tackle these shortly. First things first... get your ass immortalised by biking and hiking (no cars, if you are carried in any way by a pollutant that disembodies you from your own vital force [trains excepted] then the immortal will not appear).